Daily recording, subject: Bobby Hall aka Logic

Great morning, it is approximately 3:45 am, daily recording, subject: Bobby Hall aka Logic

 

It’s been a full year since I first heard the instrumentals of “5am” by Logic, only to brush it off at the end of summer and then be reminded of him when my son came home months later playing the instrumentals to “Stainless” for a week straight. I admit, that just like my son, I was hooked on the melody and began playing it too…I, however, download the version with lyrics to hear what kind of vibes it was putting. I became so mesmerized by the song that I had to look Logic up and see who he was and find out if he had other music that was worth listening to. I was greeted with great fortune and an abundance of songs that flowed with exotic sound and hypnotizing lyrics about Logic’s life and how he perceived the world to be and how he wanted to take part in living out his experience as a “white boy with a black man’s soul.” At first glance, I was hooked because I have always been fascinated with biracial people and wondered what their life was like. to be sometimes disgraced by their white family and undervalued by their black family…to be treated as a diluted version of black and a tainted version of white. Logic’s music answered those taunting questions for me and exposed me to a new way of perceiving and digesting rap music. I continued my search and decided to do an in-depth study on Logic and see where were these lyrics deriving from.

 

In my search for understanding who this young man was, I found myself being pulled into this vortex of another world. I was afraid, yet still curious enough to allow the force to carry me along, which can sometimes be dangerous if you lack an awareness to find your way back home, which I did! However, after journeying to another’s atmosphere of “being”, I did not realize that the unanswered questions about my own life absorbed some of Logic’s essence and desired more of it. I did not desire to have Logic solve my life problems but perhaps show me how I too could achieve an abundance of love, peace, and positivity in the midst of my circumstances. Now, I am a Christian and I read daily to prepare my mind and practice love, peace, and positivity, but I am just astounded that I get to see in today’s time, a young individual blessed with such power and influence and uses his platform as a voice for others in an industry that tends to exploit young men like him. It’s easy to be humble when you are still rising and serving under others, but there is great pressure at “the top” to remain humble when you now have the power to call the shots in an industry that is most often viewed as hardcore and grimy. How is he able to do that, why does he do things in the way that he does?! I searched more and blindly walked upon the dagger that pierced my heart. I saw the white of Bobby Hall’s eyes, felt the echo of his great anticipated heartbeat, and heard the confessions of a man cry out. I tried to back away and walk off but found myself falling and with every pulse of my heart I bleed just enough to notice that Logic is not just some average celebrity, but a man on a mission and intends to pierce the heart, open the mind and cultivate unity.

 

Yes, to most he is the vigilante Batman in the rap game, and the loveable Bobby Hall that seeks to spread peace, love, and positivity, but I can not unsee the things that are beginning to unfold before me, that he is also his worst enemy…The Joker! He dived deep into the industry because he saw an avenue that catered to his true love, writing and rose to a great height and not foresee that at some point that the burden he tries to carry, is crushing his soul and those rare moments of intentionally joking at himself are the cracks that are increasingly forming from living a double life. It is also at those moments that I find myself sometimes giggling, even bursting in short laughter with a bewilderment look on my face. I sometimes even catch myself wondering how Bobby and Lil Bobby is doing. I’ve watched his interviews numerous times to see if I can learn something new that I missed the first time watching, I often will play all his mixtapes and albums and see if I can hear something different and occasionally put my favorite songs on repeat, lol. I was only supposed to observe, write a thesis, formulate a strategy to live out and move on to the next task that will lead me to success, but I am stuck and wanting to be more committed. I’m not looking to be a fan, can’t truly be one even if I tried because I do not desire to be hypnotized into living life and chasing after a facade, but I want to began to admire artists as human beings that have learned the power of harnessing their potentials, their talents, and gifts and using their power of influence to make things better. This is such a troubling thing to observe, to see myself embrace a finding and allow it to change my course of study.

 

Signing off, Kendra Sands…aka Harley Quinn

 

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Detour…Under Construction.

My bags are packed, half the house stuff is boxed up, telling family and friends of the specific date of our move, and believing it with great faith that my babies and I were off to a new life in California. I arose to the date of our move only to be met with a disappointing silence from my Heavenly Father and a sinking feeling in my heart, knowing that the children and I were going nowhere. No one sabotaged MY plans, I didn’t do anything wrong to block the blessing, it was that I just simply miss calculated the time of the move.

See, there is nothing wrong with moving to another state, there is nothing wrong with starting over, there is nothing…wrong…with…seeking a new adventure and wanting to reach higher levels of achievement! However, when you are a child of God, sometimes YOUR plans go against the awesome gifts He has waiting for you on the other path and for me…I have found myself turning at the detour of a dream that I have written out of context.

I want to cry, I want to complain, and I keep going over things in my head about the fact that I could be so crazy to miscalculate what God was speaking to me. I want to feel ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed, but all I can do is laugh at myself and be proud that I could have such crazy faith to step out and want to do something new.

So how do I know that I am on the wrong path…although I told myself that I was moving forward and running toward my destiny and my purpose, deep down there was fear that I would die here in Ooltewah, Tn? I was so ready to move at any cost to ensure that my dreams were fulfilled and that my babies, my children would get an opportunity to explore and be exposed to even greater things in life than just traveling two or three hours away for a school field trip or family gathering. I want to travel this world with my children, homeschool them and we ALL learn something new! I want us to be that family “to say I lived” ( that short quote is from the song I Lived by OneRepublic…one of the great bands that I loved listening to in my late teens and ALL of the twenties, lol). I am on a journey facing fears head on and I recently learned in the sermon series, “Stride” by Pastor Mike Todd that God doesn’t want us to run to or from anything! So, here I was running toward a plan and away from fear!

I have decided to unpack, put things back in place and continue to work on my fashion designs and writing and dig deep into being the best daughter, mother, sister, the friend I was created to be! I believe that what God has for me, He will give to me in time. I believe that God can, and will, and DOES bless his children wherever they are because…that’s the power of his miraculous love!!!

Second Glance

Lately, I’ve been switching lanes, trying to pace myself

Don’t want to overdo things, work me to death

I’m cruising, then out of nowhere I see you pull up on me

I peek, catch a quick glance as you hit the gas and gun it. I know, I’m fooling myself, telling myself, “naw that wasn’t meant to be”

You at a 1000 miles and I just made it to 100, trying to outrace life’s pressures, I want to see what you are about so I start tailing you

Everything is telling me to slow down, get back in my own lane…

*wise up*

Aight, now I’m back in my lane but this time I use that pressure to my advantage

*shift gears*

Now that pressure is under my feet, I can clearly see where I’m headed

*gun it*

Working my ass off, yes to every guided writing and sewing opportunity, my babies riding with me, no room for hitchhikers trying to ride the bandwagon

*second glance*

Beep the horn, with a slight nod and grin, just to let you know I appreciate the work you put in, it inspires me and motivates me to chase my own dreams even more

Every once in a while, I have to shout it out on my social media, give a formal bow to your excellence

*rearview mirror*

So caught up in my own work, didn’t realize that you had slowed down to take a break, to enjoy yourself and now it is I back to the first position…see you in Cali

 

 

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall…

Mirror, mirror on the wall I don’t have to be the fairest of them all…

On this journey where I am walking out my destiny,(yeah…your destiny is not a physical location, stopping point, means to an end, it is every moment, every second of your life), I am learning that a lot of the habits, thoughts, and beliefs were not my own. I am learning that the trials and tribulations that I encounter are indeed tailored for me and work for me, not against me! Yes, my trials and tribulations hurt, yes the rejections hurt, yes my mistakes and bad decisions bring about painful shame and guilt, but it all works to strip away the habits, thoughts, and beliefs that are not me.

Often times, the majority of us go through and not “grow” through a phase in life and we experience things that cause us to put up walls, that cause us to cover up, adapt and blend in. After a while, without any notion we find ourselves thinking, saying, and doing things that we know are not us and find it hard to change what we have begun to produce. We try to run to others for advice, for relief, only to be rejected even more or oppressed all the more by their habits, thoughts, and beliefs until we are brought to our lowest point…mental isolation.

Overwhelmed with doubt and frustration, we feel as if we have been buried alive and soon paralyzed by the thought that we may never see the light of day; little do we know that this where God begins to cultivate us. It is in the dark places where what we used to see, what was exemplified in front of us has been crushed by the weight of dirt and ridicule thrown on us and we become beautifully broken. No longer a weak seed but a prosperous root that is being fed daily by the Word of God and watered by the springs of the Holy Spirit,(“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).

It is in the “dark days” where God reveals to us, who we really are and begins to evolve us and help us establish the new blueprint for the life He has created for us. He first opens our eyes to our past and allows us to forgive not only those who hurt us, neglected us, and abandoned us, but allows us to forgive ourselves for any guilt or shame we have thrown on ourselves. Forgiving ourselves and others helps us to start developing a new story instead of perfecting the old victimized story that we constantly replay over and over in our minds, that we highlight at every girlfriend outing or phone call, or for you guys, you bury deep within you, covering it with ego, arrogance, and pride.

Once we have overcome the guilt and shame, once we have forgiven ourselves and others, God, then allows us to go back physically,(if possible and safe to do) and face the things we have run from. God begins to teach us how to speak forgiveness and prosperity in our lives as well as those we felt hurt us. It’s not enough to just think and believe, we must begin to act on our beliefs and the promise of supernatural peace and joy that God has for us. I must say, that this part of the journey, for me, is the most rewarding because I release the pressure of wanting and needing to be in control of everything and accept the fact that life happens to EVERYBODY! Everyone goes through things, everyone gets hurt, offended, but unlike you or me…not everyone is able to overcome that hurt and live a fulfilling life and sometimes die disappointed and just a smidge short of their breakthrough. I released the pressure and it showed me my true strength and courage…something that I had no idea I could possess!!!!

Life still looks the same, some things never change, and at first, it feels very weird because we look around and in the natural, life is still happening. However, once we began to walk out what God speaks to us, its as if we are living in a mirrored world. As we evolve, God opens our eyes and gives us the wisdom to see who we really are by reflecting our image off of others! So, if you are surrounded by people who constantly drain you and you feel your essence leave you, you need to walk away! I know, it sounds easy, but the reality is, it sometimes takes a while to let go because we become tied to that thing or people. It is only when we encounter another soul that causes our soul to leap with joy, not only in their presence but when they leave as well! There is no jealousy, envy, strife; you feel motivated, inspired, and all the more energized by them AND what they believe in. You may not like everything they do, how they do it, but you seek to understand them and gain a new perspective from them.

It is at this moment when we began to truly live our lives, seeking to understand, gain a new perspective, and yearn for connecting through love and respect.

 

May I Ask Who’s Calling?!

I hear your call oh Lord!

I hear the drums beating in the distance!

I see the wilderness on the path before me, and I’m trying to fight the resistance.

I want to turn my back but the rhythm keeps tugging at the frequency of my heart,

Shame and guilt on one end and freedom and glory on the other pulling me apart.

I know what you have called me for but I can’t shake my current stance

Please don’t pass me by, don’t give me just a glance!

Heavenly Father! Now I call on you!

Take hold of me, carry me, push me if you must,

Don’t let your daughter settle here in this forsaken dust.

Yes, you give free will but I hand it back to you,

For My God, only you know what you have called me to do.

 

 

Cutting The Balancing Act…

It was the month of April and as usual, I’m juggling housework, the kids and their homework, and an audacious 7-month-old, lol. The evening is approaching and I’m rushing to get dinner started while trying to help my oldest son with homework. In the background is bickering between my 8-year-old and 4 years old and Zachary(7 months old) screaming his little eyes out because he is strapped in his swing until mommy gets dinner in the oven. Of course, my heart melts and I’m overwhelmed from hearing my baby cry from neglect. So, I do what any real mom would do…ask my 8-year-old daughter Kynzly to hold her baby brother while I put a pot in the oven, it would only take a second. Now, the idea was to occupy Kynzly so that she would stop arguing with her little brother Kemryck(4-year-old)  and allow Kurtyz(12-year-old) to finish his homework. Middle school work in this day and age requires laser focus and attending a Paideia school doesn’t make it better; I have currently found myself Googling half the things he has questions about and I’m only 32!!! So, to bring peace and harmony back into the house, and some quietness to allow me to breathe for a second, I had devised the best foolproof plan every mother would be proud to nod their head at, except one thing…I did not plan for my daughter to NOT listen.

 

Within a mere minute, our lives changed forever. Kynzly grabbed Zachary but did not stay in the kitchen with me or go sit down in plain view so that I could watch them. Instead, she went to her room because she also had a plan of how to soothe her baby brother! Kynzly laid Zachary on her twin size bed, walked to her closet to grab a toy, and did not realize that her baby brother could roll over so fast. As soon as I closed the oven door and turned around, Kynzly and Zachary were not in sight, and the next noise I heard was a blood-curdling scream from Zachary. Every mother knows that scream and knows that when that high pitch scream rings in the air, life pauses and our minds have made it to wherever the child is before our foot even takes a step. Kurtyz even stopped doing his homework and we both raced to Kynzly’s room and saw Zachary lying on the floor, face down. Kynzly is pale at this point and I am holding Zachary and pressing all over his body to see if there are any injuries, to see if I get a reaction of discomfort. With Zachary clutched in my arms still crying, I turn to Kynzly, yelling, “what happened?!”  Kynzly explained that she was only trying to help calm Zachary down by getting a toy for him. “And the award for worst mother of the year goes to….Kendra Sands!”

 

By the end of the night, I had calmed Zachary down and watched over him until the next morning because he had indeed been injured. Every time he moved his left arm he would cry and a key tip that I learned with Kemryck when he was 1 and fractured his leg, he immediately went to sleep, the same thing happened with Zachary. Once we got to the hospital, the x-ray had concluded that Zachary had a fracture on the inside of his left arm, right at the curve before going deep into the underarm. Already feeling worthless and irresponsible, nausea swept over me because my baby was in pain and I could do nothing to calm him and now these doctors would be judging this single black mom of four. To my surprise, the doctors assured me that Zachary would be fine, that he had already begun to heal because he could move his arm without much crying. However, DCS(Department of Child Services) had to be called because of the type of injury Zachary had obtained at such a young age; a regular procedure that is done when children come in with unusual injuries. I managed to stay calm and had no worries because I knew that Zachary’s injury was an accident. Though at times, I felt like a worthless mom, overall, I am truly grateful for my children and work hard to try an keep them safe.

 

I for sure am not grateful for the pain that the kids and I went through because of this accident, but was relieved at the fact that someone evaluated the situation and gave an honest referral for what needed to happen next. From my perspective, I believe Kynzly did not listen because days prior to the incident, Kynzly did not listen to me on small matters and I allowed the disobedience to slip by because I saw them as “minor” acts of disobedience and I was just too busy to take the time and handle each situation. Kynzly is a great child, very kind and cheerful, and is a natural nurture, so what caused Kynzly to act out that eventually led to a major accident that affected the entire family?! As I mentioned in the beginning, I am a busy mom, juggling many things, wearing many hats, and became so focused on creating a perfect atmosphere for my children and me, that I forgot to include my children. My boys, they are easy going, only need about 5 to 10 minutes of my attention and then they are off to do daring, and courageous stuff, Kynzly, however, is the only girl. I did not realize until that moment in April that the neglect had reached its boiling point. The kids had always reminded me that I sometimes did not listen to them and of course I would drop everything for an hour and split that time between them…horrible idea!

 

So DCS called in a partner organization(Health Connect America) that works with families that have minor issues. They called in a specialist to come to evaluate the atmosphere of the child in need and over a six month period or more, teaches strategies the WHOLE family can use to better communicate on a regular basis. I am happy to say that over the past six months, the children and I have evolved even more since Kynzly’s mentor(therapist), has come. Anna is a very insightful woman that came in and from the beginning, respected our home and our values and has offered so much advice that flows naturally with how we choose to live. Embracing this moment in my family’s life has allowed me to let go of trying to have everything perfect. Some days I will not be able to work the hours I desire because my children need me, and my family comes before my career…the whole point of working from home is so that I can be there for them! Sometimes I have to enforce bedtime so that I can get some sleep in order to get up at 3:45 am and get my work done, as well as allow their bodies to rest.

 

I’ve cut the balancing act of trying to be 50/50 in life because it does not exist, but what I do is, integrate the three most important things in my life…Religion, family, and career. For instance, when trying to solve a problem between the children, I will ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” or like now, I have carved out time with Kynzly to come to sew with me. There were days when I wanted to work alone and get projects done, but now, I allow Kynzly into that part of my world and it turns out that Kynzly is great at it and offers great design ideas, she even sews a little herself and makes clothes for her dolls. Now, Kynzly desires to be a premier ballet dancer, so I took that and integrated that with my fashion designing and I am making her own tutu. When I feel overwhelmed and I know I need to take a break from sewing or house chores, I will go and play a game with Kurtyz and Kemryck, or roll around on the floor with Zachary. Our life isn’t perfect, some nights, dinner is a bowl of cereal and some breakfast days are pizza. We have a blueprint on how to live, but we choose the details that fulfill us and respects our environment.

Surrendering The Pressure…

Once again I found myself under pressure and completely confused about why I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed when I was now able to be successful in getting work done! Just months ago, I struggled for a while to discipline myself and become consistent with completing things on time! I struggled to keep the schedule I made for myself, I struggled to keep my word to the few subscribers on my YouTube channel, I even struggled to take care of my physical appearances from time to time! Now, here I am again, crushed by pressure and stressed because I don’t want to go back to living an ordinary lifestyle. I like being neat and organized, having a plan and executing the task set for the day, and living in harmony with my children. I had tasted freedom and damn it I want more of it!!!

Last month I became aware that I was literally talking myself out of doing anything but the bare minimum for my children and career. I wanted to take a break from sewing, writing, even parenting! Yeah, I know, I sound like a horrible mom, but no…not walk out on my children or stop handling their basic needs.No, I wanted to literally leave their morals and ethical values in the hands of their teachers and peers and my parents. I just wanted to wake up, get them ready for school, kiss them goodbye for the moment, and go back to bed. As far as my career, I wanted to pack up every sewing assignment I was working on and tell my clients to find someone else to finish the garment. I wanted to deactivate my Word Press and pretty much push my book and essays aside until I FELT ready to work again. Now, there is nothing wrong with taking breaks and in my house, being that I am a single mom of 4…breaks are not scheduled, they come and go as they please, especially when it comes to my 13-month-old and 4.5 years old.

I took breaks all the time, whether I liked it or not; half the time I hated it because my breaks always came right when I had gained momentum on my work and I knew that I would not be able to get back to my work unless I stayed up past my children’s bedtime or I let go of the pressure of having to finish an assignment right then and wait til my hours of solitude. After much consideration…I surrendered the pressure and began going to bed on time and waking up at 3:45 am to do my prayer and bible study, and then get to work. Oh my gosh, 3:45am to 7:00am are pieces of Heaven that I love to indulge in because ALL of my children are asleep and for three straight hours I get to push myself as hard as I need to without any breaks. Those moments take me back to when I just had my two oldest and I would drop them off at school, get back home and design a garment without having to eat or the times I would meet with my mentor to work on an article. It was those blissful moments that I miss so much! Finally had reached that happiness again after years of getting side-tracked and doing things that almost destroyed my life and my children’s loves! So why was I depressed and overwhelmed last night after achieving a long sought-after goal?!

My children are doing great at home…for the most part, lol and thriving brilliantly at school, and each day I learn a new way to communicate and share my wisdom with them. I have finished assignments, not on time, but days before the due date! What in the hell could be going on with me when things seemed so good?! In my last upload, I could see myself, as I vlogged, actually break down the emotions that I was feeling, in the midst of the moment and by the end of the video I was able to pinpoint exactly what was going on with me!

The first thing that I noticed about myself, was that I let go of the pressure to upload a “perfect” video. My kids were talking in the background, one walked pass crying and right in the middle of the video, I catered to his need, #mommyflex moment, lol. It felt so great to let go of that pressure to produce a perfect video and as a bonus, I was able to deliver a #uglyduckling moment that I had created my channel for! So, once I let go of the pressure, I was able to free myself from judgment and allow myself to embrace the emotion. Embracing that moment let me know that I was safe and that I was human and that I was not feeling this way because of work, I had finished my work. My children were also not the problem because I let them be free as much as they need to within the guidelines of our family ethical values. The only thing left that I had to evaluate was the upcoming move to California.

Yesss, the children and I are taking the big step and moving away from the familiar and exploring an entirely new way of life on the west coast. Every person I tell that to freaks out and replies, “that’s an expensive place”, “you know that Los Angeles is a fast-paced city…huge city compared to Chattanooga”, or the famous doubtful question, “how do you plan to do that?!” Of course, I simply reply with the basics, “I know it’s a big city, that’s why we are moving, we want to try a new living style and the lessons and skills I have obtained here, I can simply apply there!” They look with surprise, a shake of the head, grin, and say, “okay, wish you the best!” That was it, that was what was applying the pressure…I was scared about the move!!! NO!!!! I am even more eager to leave now,  because people continue to look at my circumstance, the scars of my past, and think that I am not smart enough to handle a city like Los Angeles!

The pressure wasn’t fear, but that I am longing to hurry up and move! I have been consistent with my responsibilities only for a good week and already thinking that I am ready to move! The longing became so intense that it almost caused me to move 10 years back, back to the days of my 20’s where I was working, but not working in the direction I needed to elevate to the next level. Here I am, thinking that all it takes is one great assignment completed, one great picture, caption posted and the opportunities will come pouring in! Nope! Because God is having me to pave out a new avenue, things cannot come so easy, nor do I want them to. However, I wanted to see tremendous progress after I had worked on a project for so long. I wanted the great efforts that I put in to be rewarded by great leaps of recognition and monetary rewards, lol. Now that my mind has been elevated, the children and I are wanting to travel and experience things that we had not thought of before.

The children and I have less than a month to go before the big move. Looking at everything going on in our lives…the move doesn’t look like it will happen anytime soon. I am still waiting on paperwork to be finalized, I still have packing to do, the kids are upset and sad that they will have to leave friends and their grandparents behind. Yet I keep telling people, I keep telling the kids, my parents, myself that we are moving next month! I’m on the edge of my seat because one minute I am ready to go, another minute, something happens and I am asking myself…”Kendra, are you really ready to go, are you disciplined enough, are you focused enough to handle the new life waiting for you?!” Only time will tell and until then…I will keep working!

Balancing Out

How do you balance out your life? With self-discipline, in my opinion, but I have found it very difficult to do! I’ve written out schedules, used various task apps and applied a time management formula to get on board with this thing, yet some how I can’t seem to get going! Sure life happens and interrupts the schedule planned out, but when it comes to being off schedule every single day, going to bed at various hours, it poses a problem for this mom-preneur! It is vital that I become consistent, focused, reliable, and dedicated or I will soon crash and burn. On to the next level of this journey…going from “starting” to “preserving”!

Let Go…

I tried to hold on to this thing as long as I could, afraid of being called a quitter but who cares! I’d rather be happy than suffer the blows of insecurity, complacency,and rejection. I yearn for that freedom to be only me, no make-up, no name brands, no material things, just clothed with love. I want my love to over-flow, exposing my wild heart and vibrant soul! So I let go, eyes wide open and I jump. I want to see my beauty unfold, evolve right in front of me. I want to experience that acceptance like never before. Here I am universe, naked and radiating in the essence of He, the one who saved me….

I released that fear of having my work negatively judged and jumped. I let go of that fear that my work may be stolen, copied and I jumped. I’m all in at this point bursting with so many ideas and work to show. I’ve been ready for a long time to do the things I love, yet fearful that I “may” not be good enough.  Well, universe…here I am!

I leave my past behind, live in the present, and anticipate the future. I did what I did, I made the choice, and yet I am still alive to move beyond those things. I let go and live in the presence. I live with a wild heart and a vibrant soul.

I let go and told him the truth, laying all my cards on the table and watched as he walked away. To no avail his response pierced my heart quickly and I fell. I struggled for days to understand and tried to calculate what I did wrong. I clinched to the hope that my love would win and lost sight of where I was going. The hurt, the rejection weighed down on me, forcing me to fall faster, causing me to miss the moment of falling, so I let go. I released that desire to understand and celebrated the confidence to at least let him know. I let go and fall at a steady pace…

Let Your Job Fuel Your Career

Okay folks, here’s the thing, a lot of us are running around wasting years of our time lost and following after things that bring no value, nor add to values we already have set in place. For years I thought the best way to be successful and come up is by paying my dues to others. Working my way up in someone else’s company and learning a set of skills that would benefit my career. Yes, internships are great, jobs are very beneficial financially but are these jobs, internships, voluntary services you provide getting you closer to your career, to your dream position?! Of course, sometimes life isn’t fair and we do have to work jobs that aren’t ideal but do get things done! Still, make sure that you are working to your fullest potential and the job is allowing you to.

Just like setting standards and values to make the right connection with people, the same applies to jobs, internships, and volunteer opportunities. Do not lower your standards or compromise your values just because someone told you the pay looks nice or because it’s what everyone is getting into. You must make choices for you! More importantly, if your focus is only on money, you are seriously in trouble. Life is not about making money to have the best things in life, because those things will soon fade away, but it’s more so about the relationships you have with people. The money will never be able to give you the things you truly desire, like love, a peace of mind, or fellowships with others, GREAT HEALTH!

Know exactly what you want to do, and why you want to do it. This was something I started to learn last year when a guy I was working for broke it down to me. I was all over the place with part-time jobs, back and forth working for him, and wanting to start my clothing line. I knew in my heart that I wanted to do my clothing line, and although working for him was beneficial in that he was a photographer and had connected to models, yet the work I did was not leading me in the right direction to what I wanted to do…design and make clothes! We finally sat down one day for a staff meeting and I explained to him that I would have to back off from the company because I needed something with more pay. I am a single mom of three, no support of any kind from the donor(biological father), and the state gave as much as they could before having to end my monetary benefits. Something had to be done, I had mouths to feed, bills to pay, and most of all I wanted to begin financing MY business. He explained that I didn’t need money, I needed food, utilities, and supplies to began making clothes. Money is just a tool to get the things I need, and he asked were there any other ways to get the things I needed without money. People, that’s when my brain went into overdrive. I started thinking of ways to get what I needed without having to look for a regular job. I am a talented individual that had resources in place to make the money I wanted.

That meeting catapulted me so high, I saw my journey laid out years ahead and when I came down from my “aha” moment, I took off running towards my dreams. As much as my old boss helped me, I had to leave because working for him did not add the value I needed and more importantly, I wasn’t adding value to his company because I wasn’t working to my full potential. When you are working just to be working and you aren’t passionate about what you are doing, you will, in essence, take away from what someone else has built. Of course, not everyone is meant to leave a job and began working for themselves and some are not even interested in starting something of their own. A lot of people have dreams to work for companies already established and are passionate about helping others grow. Just make sure its a company that has values and employees aligned with your core values!

Right now I am still a full-time mother and I am utilizing the skills and disciplines of being a mother and applying them to my career. Part of me wants to get a regular job but circumstances won’t allow it…so I embrace where I am and look forward to where I am going. Being a single mother is very hard and requires a lot of discipline as my children get older and become wiser. My children look to me for everything! So, with that, time management is a very important tool in being successful. I also have to budget EVERYTHING!!!! I try not to stress because all that I do here at home, prepare me for my career. In the same way that I look at each task I do at home, look at your job the same way. Never take for granted the task that you are given. Sure its fun to dream of the ultimate career but what steps, skills, and disciplines do you need to acquire in order to get you to the next level of your career?! Figure those steps out and see if you are already perfecting them in the job you are currently in!