Great morning, it is approximately 3:45 am, daily recording, subject: Bobby Hall aka Logic
It’s been a full year since I first heard the instrumentals of “5am” by Logic, only to brush it off at the end of summer and then be reminded of him when my son came home months later playing the instrumentals to “Stainless” for a week straight. I admit, that just like my son, I was hooked on the melody and began playing it too…I, however, download the version with lyrics to hear what kind of vibes it was putting. I became so mesmerized by the song that I had to look Logic up and see who he was and find out if he had other music that was worth listening to. I was greeted with great fortune and an abundance of songs that flowed with exotic sound and hypnotizing lyrics about Logic’s life and how he perceived the world to be and how he wanted to take part in living out his experience as a “white boy with a black man’s soul.” At first glance, I was hooked because I have always been fascinated with biracial people and wondered what their life was like. to be sometimes disgraced by their white family and undervalued by their black family…to be treated as a diluted version of black and a tainted version of white. Logic’s music answered those taunting questions for me and exposed me to a new way of perceiving and digesting rap music. I continued my search and decided to do an in-depth study on Logic and see where were these lyrics deriving from.
In my search for understanding who this young man was, I found myself being pulled into this vortex of another world. I was afraid, yet still curious enough to allow the force to carry me along, which can sometimes be dangerous if you lack an awareness to find your way back home, which I did! However, after journeying to another’s atmosphere of “being”, I did not realize that the unanswered questions about my own life absorbed some of Logic’s essence and desired more of it. I did not desire to have Logic solve my life problems but perhaps show me how I too could achieve an abundance of love, peace, and positivity in the midst of my circumstances. Now, I am a Christian and I read daily to prepare my mind and practice love, peace, and positivity, but I am just astounded that I get to see in today’s time, a young individual blessed with such power and influence and uses his platform as a voice for others in an industry that tends to exploit young men like him. It’s easy to be humble when you are still rising and serving under others, but there is great pressure at “the top” to remain humble when you now have the power to call the shots in an industry that is most often viewed as hardcore and grimy. How is he able to do that, why does he do things in the way that he does?! I searched more and blindly walked upon the dagger that pierced my heart. I saw the white of Bobby Hall’s eyes, felt the echo of his great anticipated heartbeat, and heard the confessions of a man cry out. I tried to back away and walk off but found myself falling and with every pulse of my heart I bleed just enough to notice that Logic is not just some average celebrity, but a man on a mission and intends to pierce the heart, open the mind and cultivate unity.
Yes, to most he is the vigilante Batman in the rap game, and the loveable Bobby Hall that seeks to spread peace, love, and positivity, but I can not unsee the things that are beginning to unfold before me, that he is also his worst enemy…The Joker! He dived deep into the industry because he saw an avenue that catered to his true love, writing and rose to a great height and not foresee that at some point that the burden he tries to carry, is crushing his soul and those rare moments of intentionally joking at himself are the cracks that are increasingly forming from living a double life. It is also at those moments that I find myself sometimes giggling, even bursting in short laughter with a bewilderment look on my face. I sometimes even catch myself wondering how Bobby and Lil Bobby is doing. I’ve watched his interviews numerous times to see if I can learn something new that I missed the first time watching, I often will play all his mixtapes and albums and see if I can hear something different and occasionally put my favorite songs on repeat, lol. I was only supposed to observe, write a thesis, formulate a strategy to live out and move on to the next task that will lead me to success, but I am stuck and wanting to be more committed. I’m not looking to be a fan, can’t truly be one even if I tried because I do not desire to be hypnotized into living life and chasing after a facade, but I want to began to admire artists as human beings that have learned the power of harnessing their potentials, their talents, and gifts and using their power of influence to make things better. This is such a troubling thing to observe, to see myself embrace a finding and allow it to change my course of study.
Signing off, Kendra Sands…aka Harley Quinn